Today I want to touch on a very tender topic, pornography. I would say that pornography, although not discussed very often in most circles, is to the point where we can say it is ubiquitous, even an epidemic, mostly around men. Which is why I feel called to say something.
As we all know, just because something is common does not mean it is healthy. I have been in many men’s groups, and I can say that many men confess in these gatherings that they are hooked on porn. I am always surprised to see how prevalent this is, with the easy and always available supply of internet images and videos, just a few clicks away. To be fair, I have heard some men argue that it is not a problem. I even heard one man say that porn helps the relationship between him and his wife. I felt it was denial of a problem.
Let me say why, although again, it is hard to articulate. To me, I feel dark energy around porn. The words that come up around this topic are … compulsive, addictive, sneaky, hidden, shame inducing. Along with the word “dark” comes many other D words: denigrating, demeaning, distracting and depleting.
Of course, porn is not just a problem for men, although they seem to be the ones caught up in pornography the most. I feel that for many men there is a very insidious temptation around porn, even a lure, which might even hint that there are dark forces that are wanting to draw men in or distract men and continue the old paradigm pattern of keeping women in demeaning, disempowered roles. Whether conscious or unconscious, I feel this is part of what is going on. And then there are other reasons, such as simply taking advantage of men and women and profiting from porn.
Let me address men here. Men, do you really think that using porn does not affect you and your life? Do you really think it helps your use of your life force energy, your sacred sexuality? Do you truly feel it does not affect your relationships, especially with your significant other? Or does it perhaps keep you from having a partner? Might we say that perhaps you are cheating on yourself and your significant other when you invest your time and energy in porn?
Pornography, one might say, is a free choice. Men use it by free choice, and the women as well—again I know that men are very involved in creating and playing the roles, but I speak here to women. Are these women really engaging in the role of actress in a porn video or movie, truly as a free choice? Or is this a version of sex slavery, where women are programed into these roles, where society offers insufficient respectful, fair-paying appropriate work and jobs and careers for women, where women are underpaid for the same work as men? Is there not a cultural programing that steers women into demeaning and disempowered roles? And despite all this, women need to do their best to take back their power. We all have some work to do.
Now, I could be wrong. It is possible that I am just a prude, and I do not see that this is harmless entertainment, that possibly someone somewhere actually benefits from pornography. But my heart feels that the vast majority of pornography is harmful to men, women and society.
I agree there is a choice, not an easy one, but there a choice, and perhaps this is where the empowerment comes back in. Men, we need to first admit a problem. Then commit to unhooking yourself from this addiction. Get help, whatever it takes. We cannot heal an issue until we first recognize and acknowledge it.
And women, know who you are. Your sacred feminine energy, just like the sacred masculine energy is important, so important, especially to this amazing shift that is occurring on Earth right now. Things are getting better and worse at the same time, so know that even in the midst of this destructive porn problem, in the midst of this darkness, there is light. There is awakening of the sacred feminine. We all have to shake off the shackles of the past paradigm, push past the wave or intense programing and efforts to keep men depleted and women disempowered. Past the battered, shameful sexual woundings. You see, this is not just a personal choice that affects individuals. It is about all of us waking up and respecting one another and our bodies and accelerating this shift from dark to light, from selfishness to selflessness, from separation to unity, from shameful sexuality to sacred sexuality.