Let’s talk about a tender topic, the relationship between men and women. And this ties into the current epidemic of groping and abuse of women.
Please know that what I am about to say is not about blaming either men or women. We have all been really confused and imbalanced, and are coming out of a long era of male empowerment or domination, and women’s disempowerment and marginalization. We are starting to find balance, as we go through this beautiful shift in consciousness on Earth. But it is stirring up some messy and ugly stuff in the process. In other words, as with many things of late, the male groping and abuse did not just start 10 or 20 years ago, but has a long history. There is now more light to see it all.
So, let’s consider what happens when women feel disempowered, afraid of men? Since they could not change or control or fight back effectively against the men, they sought to control future men: their sons. Again, no judgment here, but what many women have done is drum down the boy’s maleness or power or masculinity, and raise boys that are effeminate, gentle, and not a threat to the mother. By the way, my own Mother did exactly that. She was hurt by her dad, and was afraid of men, so she unconsciously did her best to control and stifle the masculinity of my two brothers and I, and did a good job of it.
Again, this is not conscious or evil. It is what we do when we seek to feel safe. But there are consequences. These boys grow up to be weak, disempowered, confused, passive aggressive. They wonder what their role is. They have toxic shame and are afraid to demonstrate their healthy power and masculinity. Furthermore, and ironically, a side affect is that women are not attracted to these men. Sure, they seem more safe, but they do not have their life force, their energy, their passion. They are disconnected from their feelings. The distract and disconnect and end up with a variety of distractions and addictions.
So, again without judgment, the male domination can be seen to have started this mess, but now mens’ confusion is tinged with anger and revenge motivation for being controlled as children. Many men do not trust and are afraid of and angry at women. So we have men mistrusting, faering and angry at women, and women mistrusting, fearing and angry at men.
But again, the good news is that this is all sorting itself out. We are seeing it, a huge first step. As messy as it is, as the consciousness continues to rise, the healing will happen and we will understand the past and create a better future.
If you care to hear more about this affect, here are two sources, one by teacher Teal Swan, a short, 8 minute video called the Castration Dynamic. You can Google Teal Swan. And a man I worked with in men’s’ groups is named Robert Glover, and he wrote a book called No More Mr. Nice Guy, about this dynamic of confused and disempowered men these days.