Pickleball as a Spiritual Practice

Of course, everything can be a spiritual practice. Life is a spiritual practice.

And then again, the only reason we need any spiritual practice is because we have forgotten who we are, and who made us. We have forgotten that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. But I digress.

I love pickleball. It has become my most recent addiction, although one of the healthiest vices ever! I love the challenge of hitting a round ball with a flat paddle—squarely. I love the community and making new friends. I love the exercise and sweat.

And I also love the spiritual practice. Well, sorta. Pickleball can be humbling and tough on the ego. So let’s look at some of the potential lessons and opportunities for growth and healing:

• Ego: Let’s start with ego. Oooooh, that ego. I’m almost 70 now, and am ashamed to say that I often still keep track of how many games I win and lose. And when the losses outnumber the wins, my ego gets bruised. And it’s interesting how I can take credit when my team wins, or blame myself—or my partner—if we lose. But the beauty of pickleball is that 99% of games are doubles, which drains the ego of some of its tendency to take too much credit, or the other side of the coin, blame yourself or your partner.
• Humility: On the other end is humility. It’s a great practice to not take anything personal—even when someone whacks the ball off your forehead! One thing I love about pickleball is that you can’t get too arrogant. Every time I start to play better and get into my ego, wham, I swing and miss the ball completely, or run into an opponent who is younger (or older), faster and better. In the same game, I often go from hero to picklehead.
• Dealing with anger and other intense emotions: Again, I’m ashamed to say that anger comes up in pickleball, and not just for me. I see others get either a tad irritated, or openly upset. The anger is often at ourself, as we do not live up to our unreal expectations. Or it can be at others, whether our partner who we see as clearly not as good as us (!) or at our opponent, who is clearly better than us! When the ego gets bruised, fear and anger can raise their messy heads.
• Blame and Victim: This one arises a lot. Instead of giving the opponent credit, we see it as “bad luck for us, good luck for them.” “All the luck goes to them!” We can blame the opponent for being too aggressive, or for hitting the ball too hard, or for calling a ball “in” that was clearing “out.” How dare they? Why can’t everyone be a good sport like me? And why can’t I get a partner as great as me!?
• Dishonesty: So, you think you are an honest, righteous person? Pickleball will put that belief to the test (or to rest). With the game on the line, your opponent hits an impressive, screaming shot that lands right around the side line; do you call it in or out? (Refer to above regarding ego). For me, I am moody. Often I am a fair and considerate opponent, and give the benefit of the doubt to the opponent. I give complements and honor my team mate or opponents. But in the heat of the match, when Mr. Ego arises and I am really wanting to win, my eyesight seems to change, and I am more likely to deny what I witnessed. I conveniently “didn’t get a good look,” even though it was right under my nose. This immature side of me is not something I am proud of, but again, another gift of pickleball as a spiritual practice, darn it!
• Competition: Of course, related to ego above, we often get overly competitive. I see this as a balance thing (see the section on balance below). We can, of course, be competitive, without needing to win, or ignoring the needs of others. The most important part of the game is arguably connecting, being fair, making new friends, having fun, getting some exercise, and not taking things personal, as mentioned above. The most important thing is just what this blog is all about: growing spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Another way ego or selfishness or excess competition arises is at the end of a match. The respectful thing to do—win or lose—is to meet your partner and the opponents at the net and tap the paddles, and say “good game.” But when Mr. or Mrs. Selfish arises, we may skip this part and run directly to the paddle pile to claim our spot for the next match.
• Patience: Inevitably we will end up playing with opponents or partners who are new or beginners. Admittedly, this requires patience. They may not know the rules. They are not accomplished at the game. But guess what, we were all beginners! Can we be kind and patient? Can we take the time to explain—without judgment or condescension—the rule they just broke, or why they found themselves out of position? Can we build them up rather than tear them down? Furthermore, during the heat of a match, can we stay patient, enjoy the rallies? This is especially challenging during a game with what are called “bangers” (people who love to smash the ball). In these kinds of games, it can be hard to slow things down, enjoy some dinks, try some control or spin shots, but it can make the game more fun and last awhile.

• Compassionate Communication: We can also practice patience and compassionate communication when tension arises. Without shaming yourself, you can apologize for poaching on your partner’s side. Or again, without shaming, we can ask that our partner yield to your powerful forehand (if it is truly wonderful!). When there is disagreement over where you opponent’s shot landed, we can set appropriate boundaries and, since it’s your call, on your side of the net, kindly but firmly tell them that it was out, as clearly and as quick as possible. We can remember what is important, on the court and in life.
• Shadow: Our shadow is the part of ourself that society or our culture or our parents told us were unacceptable, so we deny, bury, or project onto others. It could be our fear, temper, pride, need to win, etc. We do not like our shadow aspects, and our ego will do its best to hide these aspects. But our chances of hiding away our shadow side is as effective as holding a fully inflated beachball under water; it will just keep popping back up to the surface. As in all areas of life, pickleball will trigger and agitate us. As the great Sufi poet Rumi said, “If you ask for polishing, you will be tumbled!” In other words, every trigger and agitation is an opportunity to heal an old wound or trauma. Celebrate! Give thanks that you are getting yet another opportunity to have self-compassion and heal and grow.
• Breath: In yoga, we often say, “If you lose the breath, you lost the yoga.” In other words, keep your center first and foremost. Same thing in pickleball. If we find ourself huffing and puffing, or moving into pride or anger, with our heart pounding, we can pause and take a deep breath. This brings us back into the present moment and out of our head and the drama we have created.
• Balanced, in this world but not of it: WE can all this earth and Sky. Again, the breath can connect us above and below, so to speak, to timeless God and this earthly moment. Let me explain. What I often do in between serves is two things. First, I look up, and smile. I am reminding myself that there is something bigger than me—the Creator (and Inventor of pickleball, and everything else). I remind myself that it is a gift to be alive, in this moment, to have a 70 year old body that is still healthy and well. I put it in perspective: I’m playing pickleball!
• The second thing I do is look at a very specific point on my paddle. I used to also do this when I played softball, between pitches, to center myself. This is similar to what Ichiro, the ex-Seattle Mariner baseball player used to do between pitches. He called it returning to “normalcy.” It brings me neutral and present, no longer dwelling on the last shot I just made—whether amazing or terrible. There is no past or future, just this next serve. So, I am connected above, but also to this very moment, a wonderful balance. I am much more able to enjoy the game, and to enjoy this gift of life.